Thursday, August 4, 2011

Shark Week Finds Victims Dahn On 'Da Mon

It is hard to miss a facebook posting or commercial hyping up one of the most anticipated week long events in nature TV known as Shark Week. In honor of this week Pittsburgh had the luxury of finding it's own sharks swimming through the Monongahela River, but these were not your average sharks, they were the business sharks of Sandcastle Water Park. That's right, just when you thought Sandcastle was all fun and games, Danille Sullenberger was practically eaten alive by the new policies of the water park and a WTAE Call for Action was in store for the Sullenberger family.

WTAE's Wendy Bell was sent to the scene where she was able to uncover the preposterous changes to the Blue Tubaluba. Apparently, Sandcastle decided to make height safety changes to the Blue Tubaluba, which is the favorite ride of Sullenberger's daughter, Paige. The height was changed from 36" when riding with a parent to 48" for all riders as per the manufacturer's recommendation. Aghast at this change Paige began to cry and the Sullenberger's were forced to take action against Sandcastle for upsetting their daughter. Luckily, Wendy Bell was able to be the hero for Sullenberger's as she was able to persuade Sandcatle to donate a cabana, a waiter, and pizza in order to make up for the new policy upsetting the family.

It was either a slow news day or society has really become pathetic that people are more concerned with getting their own way over their childrens' safety. I really don't know which is worse: the fact that the Sullenbergers complained, that WTAE actually sent someone to cover the 'story,' or that Sandcastle gave in and provided them with first class extra services. This just goes to show the fools get the reward while rational people get the shaft.


  1. R Korn said...

    Wow, what a stupid story. Must have been a slow day to report on this, shouldn't they be letting us know if the Steelers are allowed to take bathroom breaks in the middle of a training camp seesion or how many pairs of underwear they pack when they go to Latrobe?

  2. This is why I don't watch the local news.

  3. That woman is stupid

  4. If you think she is stupid you should meet her Husband