Thursday, April 14, 2011

Older professionals still Day Drink, Fall Over

After work yesterday, I had to drive into Shadyside to get my haircut. This led me to drive through Oakland, where I witnessed pure drunkenness at its finest.

Across the corner from the Garage Door saloon were two businessmen, in their mid 50s most likely, staggering down the street. At first glance, I thought the one gentleman was helping the other because the one guy suffered from some sort of knee problem. As I got closer, I realized that the guy's knees were buckling not because of an ailment, but because he was completely smashed.

I pulled up to the stop sign as they also staggered towards the sign. Guy 1 gave up trying to hold up Guy 2, and Guy 2 immediately crashed to the ground. At this point, it was a good thing I was stopped at the stop sign, not only because I now had front row seats, but because I was laughing so hard I would have crashed my car. The guy then grabbed for the stop sign, began pulling himself up -- while at the same time swinging around the sign like a pole dancer, and then immediately fell down again. He tried a second time; this time buckling at the waist while his knees locked, and then spun around and crashed to the ground. At this point, maintaining his dignity of course, he straightened his tie even though there was blood all over his forehead. Guy 1 was still reaching to help him up, but he couldn't balance himself well enough and kept staggering back and forth.

At this time I had to drive away, but I saw those two clowns flopping around in my mirror as I drove away. It was about 6 pm at this time, so I wonder, what time did these guys start drinking? What was the occasion? Why on a Wednesday? And what were they doing in Oakland, of all places?

Photo courtesy of RKorn

9 comments:

  1. Wow they must have been having a good time. Maybe a couple of UPMC guys getting hammered after work. I walk by there since my buidling is right across the street and notice a lot of hard core alcoholics there in the late afternoon. Not many if any students in there at that time

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  2. I love the fact that he fixed his tie. That must be the default when you need to compose your self. I can imagine him thinking: "The wife will never know what happened, by fixing my tie she will be oblivious to that fact that I am both drunk and bleeding. Yes, good plan brain." while thinking of how to solve his problem.

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  3. Ya I was already laughing and then he did that... i lost it lol

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  4. I love the comments section on this site, hilarious

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  5. I love day drinking, we should establish an annual Blast Furnce Drinking Day where we all take a vacation day and get drunk in the glorious sunshine in Oakland.

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  6. that's a good idea, a meeting of the minds. Good chance to brainstorm

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  8. Beautiful picture Rob. I especially like the car in front with a big dent on the side and no hub caps. Classy area all around.

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